is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
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