He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize
