she was so not down for the gang bang
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize