Christians are straight up FREAKS
this boner is exhausting
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
