So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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