hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
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