apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
