mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
