I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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