I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
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