So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
Randomize
