Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
I skipped work to stalk him.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
