Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
