dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
His nipple licking is glorious
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