We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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