party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
