he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Randomize