so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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