What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Randomize
