PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
