Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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