Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
