I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize