So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Randomize
