What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
