That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
