he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
