if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize
