I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
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