Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Randomize
