thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
