wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Randomize
