Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Randomize
