Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Randomize
