Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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