i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
