Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Randomize