i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize