god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
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