My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Is Oprah even human
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Randomize
