i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
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