Got a toothbrush?
You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
