i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Randomize
