i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
