everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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