when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
We just shotgunned beers for America
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
third nipple confirmed
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
