Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
My dick has a subreddit
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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