Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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