It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
