My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
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