Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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