yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
I'm at about main and main street
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
