you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
