Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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