is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
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