I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize