So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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