Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
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