U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Randomize
