You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Randomize
