when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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