its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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