He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Randomize
