that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
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