You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
