yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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