May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
