That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Randomize
