i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize