Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
