Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
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