we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
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