Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
My ATM looks so different sober.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
