After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
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