I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
My liver just broke up with me...
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
